I think this post might get a little soppy so if you want to skip it, I get that, but I really wanted to write it.
As I’ve written in our bio, Nath and I have been together for a loooong time. We started ‘going out’ when I was 15 and he was 16 but we’d known each other since playschool. Even as teenagers we weren’t in some sort of casual relationship, lots of our friends were happily settled with partners and although we were amongst the first to cement it with rings, loads of those couples are still standing strong today. We got married in 2009 at the tender ages of 21 and have genuinely spent the last 6 years enjoying being husband and wife. For us, this was never tantamount with having children, although we both wanted a family. We are so happily married, we never felt like there was an empty hole to fill with a token child, we just knew that we had a lot to give a child if/when the time was right.
In some people’s opinions we waited a long time to start our family after we got married but we’d always had a set of goals in place that we wanted to achieve before having a little one so that we knew we had a secure future for this tiny thing we were going to bring into this crazy world. We wanted to have bought our house, both have good jobs that could afford us to give our baby everything we wanted to be able to and also to allow me a good amount of maternity leave without needing to scrimp and save (trust me- teachers, alongside lots of other careers, have appalling maternity leave provision so you need an alternative plan!).
When we decided the time was right I was lucky enough to fall pregnant straight away and straight away I felt scared. It was the weirdest thing – I was so excited that in a few months we were going to meet this tiny human that was half me and half Nath, but I was so scared about how it was going to change our marriage. Nath is my best friend & I worried about how I would obviously need to share how I felt about him with how I felt about our baby. And I didn’t like it at all! I didn’t like that I was possibly going to love someone more than him, or that I might have to love him less to make room for our baby. I remember explaining this to lots of people. Most people laughed at me and called me varying degrees of ‘idiot’ (I’ll leave that to your imagination) but one of my sisters, Zoe, said she’d felt the same when pregnant with her Cody. And then she said when he was born, she grew a second heart full of totally different love for her son, whilst still loving her husband as much. And at 11.46pm on the 29th July 2014, I suddenly understood what she meant. I felt like The Grinch at the end of Dr Seuss’ classic – my heart just grew beyond comprehension, the second I laid eyes on our little person, before I even knew her name. She was Us.
And as Darcey has grown into the amazing little lady that has brightened our worlds and I watch how she adores and depends on Nath, I feel that feeling every day. I needn’t have worried about having to share my heart with both of them because we are Team Reed Improved now. We were Team Reed before she was born but we’ve got extra ammunition in our arsenal now!
Darcey & Nath have a relationship which would make a lot of Dads envious. He is as hands on as Dads come. He is her entertainment, her protection, her learning, her excitement, her curiosity, her future and completely and utterly her Hero. He turns down opportunities to go and do ‘man stuff’ because he doesn’t want to lose a second from her (he says me too, but I think he’s trying not to hurt my ego!). He works so hard to ensure that she has everything she needs and more and then fills all his spare minutes with making Darcey and I happy. We are so incredibly lucky to have him. I always knew he was going to be a phenomenal Dad. With all our nephews, he’s very hands on and they love him to pieces (mainly because he throws them about 20 feet into the air on a regular basis) but he just ‘gets’ kids. Nothing is to tiring for him, he doesn’t get frustrated with them, he gets as excited as they all do to play together. I think the reason is because he hasn’t really grown up. And I hope he never does.